見工奇遇記（Part 16）：遇上扮唔識聽中文嘅星座撚

有一次，有間公司打嚟，講到好似好勁咁，喺我同佢講咗約十五分鐘後…

HR：「其實呢，我哋總裁Mr. XXX都喺度，你介唔介意同佢都講幾句？」

我：「好呀」

HR：「不過XXX總裁唔識聽中文，你英文OK？」

我：「Sure!」

HR：「Ok, Mr. XXX is here with us, do you have any questions to Jacky?」

總裁：「Hello Jacky, you have such a wonderful portfolio and I do appreciate for your previous job experience. I can say, you are the best among our applicants .」

我：「（係呀係呀我信係呀）Thanks a lot.」

總裁：「So can you please describe yourself?」

我：「（屌你一早叫我講英文咪得囉，講完中文又講英文）Sure.」

又重覆一次。

總裁：「Can you briefly describe your previous job experience?」

屌，頭先咪講完，又講一次。

總裁：「Wow! Your English speaks like a native, I guess your English ability is the best among our candidate. You have oversea living experience?」

我：「（屌你CV咪寫咗囉）Thanks! I stayed in Australia for one year, previously I did my summer intern in USA.」

總裁：「Great! May I know your horoscope?」

我：「（吓？？）Libra. I born in October.」

總裁：「（即刻轉流利中文）oh….. 唔好意思，我諗你唔係好適合我哋。」

我：「吓？」

HR幫口：「um… 我哋總裁唔係好鍾意天秤座嘅人。」

我：「請問天秤座嘅人有乜問題？」

HR：「呢方面係我哋公司機密。」

我：「吓？星座背後原因都會機密？同一個員工資歷有咩關係？」

總裁：「唔好意思… 其實我頭先都係試緊你，扮唔識英文姐，你又真係信，星座法則永遠都係啱。」

我：「（堅燥）喂唔拿係呀？」其實我已經見工見到當一間公司唔會請先，但有感俾你耍咗我半粒鐘。

總裁：「Sorry, let me rephrase it. “Confidential” may not be the exact term, I can’t tell you why, but trust me, horoscope will never lie. You will know soon.」

我：「咁你識唔識講中文呀？依家試我定係考英文呀？So, I fail even I have the strongest portfolio and ability among all candidate?」

總裁：「Er… Well. You can say that. Sorry but thanks for your time. Good luck with the job hunt. 我中文OK，但都習慣用返English, you know」

我：「咁你咩星座先會請？」

HR：「總裁自有佢心水架喇，唔好意思。」

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

之前試過見工要做九型人格、做心理測驗，甚至Fitness test（我唔係考紀律部隊），依家玩到睇星座？即係最少有十二份之一人你係唔會請？

到底香港發生咩事？依家啲公司仲識唔識請人，定係你班柒頭冇嘢做，得閒無事打電話去玩人？

好地地你想試我英文咪講，扮咩唔識中文？

【延伸閱讀】見工奇遇記（Part 15）：你大我前唔該睇清楚先啦！

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